This Blog has changed alot lately...

Lately I have realized that this blog has changed into my 'problems' blog so i have three other blogs right now!

click me - this blog is just random things i will blab about, and me just sharing random things that happened in school (kind of like what this blog used to be!)

click me - this is a blog where i obsess over all of my obsessions!! <3<3<3

click me - my blog that is helping my blooming photagraphy. It will mostly have pictures and descriptions of the pictures!!

School is just so annoying!

I know that my school is really good and i will be able to get in 'all the best colleges' but my school just has alot of work and C- are like a passing grade, and it is really hard to get A's especially in my worst subjects. But my parents won't let me switch schools. I really want to go to a school that is normal because right now I'm learning or reading stuff people do in college. It also really upsets me because my parents expect me to do good in this school. But i just hate it here... I mean i like most of the teachers and it is a small school so there is an awesome close community but the pressure is just too much... UGHH I just really want to go to a regular school...

I found something that might make you understand me a bit better

This is exactly what I tried to do with THAT girl. I tried to tell her to be a better person, i tried to give her chances , to trust her. But then she lied and ruined the chances. And i got mad/sad (depending on the situation) at her for not believing me that she can't just treat people this way, but then i realized 'why should i do this??' because she had treated my like a piece of crap..

Life Isn't as simple as It Seems...

No matter how well you no somebody you never know the full extent of how bad their life is... I have opened up more on this blog then I have told some of my best friends. Nobody (except a select few) out of my friends really know about my healthy "spree's".

Also I want to talk about my New blog title 'Fake Happiness Doesn't Cure Everything' recently i suddenly just felt sad. One of my friends told me to 'just be happy' and not to be 'down in the dumps' I understand she was trying to help. But I realized that if i did just act 'happy' then it would be fake happiness and I would just be hiding my REAL emotions. Also i want to make a point clear, i admit i am emotional (which many people say 'emo' for short) but I am not just labelling myself with 'that' labal its just that its true that I am emotional, but i am happy alot too. so unless when you say 'ur emo' by meaning ur emotional and it is not an insult then you just dont call me emo at all.

Next Topic:
I have also been having trouble lately with how I feel. My friendships and other junk like that have been balancing very dangerously. I am border-line sad all the time. Which really bugs me, because i know that if one more sad/upsetting thing happens at school then i will start crying (i dont like it when my whole school -which is a small community- sees me crying) so i really wish something would happen at home or i could just force myself to cry so that all the tiny things dont just come out all at once... That might seem 'emo' to you in the bad defintion of emo , but i literally believe that atleast one other person feels this way.

Encouraging quote for the week:
'no matter how bad your life is there is always a poor sap worse off then you.'
-anoymonous

Confidence Goes Up and Down..

It is really hard to believe you are actually beautiful in this society. I have had problems myself so I know how hard it can be. I used to go on little "healthy spree's" because I wanted to be skinnier and i thought that if i lost just 'a bit of weight' that i would have more self confidence and that I would look good. I would hide out in my room and stretch and do sit-ups and then i would eat like salads and fruits almost all day. also i always try to wear baggy clothes because i think I am really fat :( but whenever i say that to people they just say the usual 'you are not fat! u are soo pretty!!!' which isnt true I actually have a slight 'potbelly' which i really hate. Also, did you notice how my mouth is shut in all the pictures i posted before?? that is because my teeth are really ugly and all spacy... I think i go in and out of little symptoms of maybe becoming someone with an eating disorder. because i also used to smile real big whenever i weighed myself and i was even a pound lighter.

I think i'm better now, but now i try to wear stuff tht 'makes me look skinnier' or i wear tight shirts under baggy or regular shirts so i dont look fat. I really want to stop this.. i mean im kind of mentally strong.. but i just need support! do you guys have any advice or experience stories tht might help me?

pic. of me

I'M NOT EMO!!

Just because I paint my nails black,
Even though there are black clothes on my back,
Even though I have moments and cry,
Even though I'm sometimes shy,

I'm the person who always smiles,
I throw away make-up and nail files,
I always talk to my friends,
conversations seem to never end,

so even though my favorite color is dark,
even though I like playing with things sharp,
it doesn't mean you have to label me,
with all those loser popularities!!!!


That is pretty much, me.... HaHee hope I didn't make ya bored!

because if anyone gets bored on this site then get a life and leave!!

This Is A poem I wrote a While Ago

Heart beats fast,

doesnt want to be picked last,

Popularity seeping through,

groups of people stuck together like glue,

Leaving no room for me,

It's like I'm impossible to see,

glee runs through my system as I see her,

she's like me new.I needed to get to know her for sure.

I called her over to me,

and i saw her coming in relief and glee,

realizing she wasnt the only one new,

as soon as i saw her i just knew,

that we would stick together just like glue.

UGHH~~~!!

school is just going wonderful right now xD (not) I can't wait until the weekend already, and it is only tuesday! My sister got back from Guatemala yesterday at 1:00Am though, so it has been pretty exciting. She got me a couple of presents while she was there. She got me this mini kangaroo backpack, an awesome bracelet, a tank top (it is actually quite tight... but i dont want to mention that...) and my favorite gift over all, A really cool flowy purple scarf thingy!! I love it sooo much!!!!

Also I have been going through alot of things -cough-girlthings-cough- lately and I'm getting really confused... So if any of you are girls who could possibly give me advice please email me
theneverlandescapee@gmail.com

also tomorrow I have to do partner dancing in gym (luckily we can pick our partners and of course I'm gonna be partners with a girl!!) dont call me immature but i just think it would be embarrassing to dance with a guy in my class because alot of other people think i would like him , and also I don't really know any of the guys that well. I'm really dreading the dancing though because I'm horrible at the different steps but luckily I'm partenering up with a girl who is my friend so hopefully she will understand!!!

Also this guy in my class has been acting weird around me lately and I dont know, just really nice, Maybe hes just a nice person but I'm not sure.

- bye!!

p.s please don't judge me about my 'girliness' in this post because I mean its not my fault im a girl in middle school and even though I'm not actually super girly I'm still gonna talk about stuff girls talk about. So if any of you guys comment on this saying that you are un-comfortable with what i said in this post I will promise to make a warning in the title of the post if it is about 'girly stuff' but if nobody says it offends them then i will just keep posting random stuff like this xD Bye everyone, and have a good night/day/afternoon!!!!